Monday, December 24, 2007

Interracial SoulMate Relationships

Interracial relationships have existed for thousands of years, but are just now becoming common. The very first of interracial soulmates was documented thousands of years ago. This interracial relationship was between Moses and his Ethiopian wife. Moses could not find a suitable wife within his own race. In order for him to not feel alone, he had to travel to East Africa. There, he found his mate.

Moses’ experience is a classic example that shows three things. First, just because you are of one race does not mean your soulmate will be the same race as you. Second, Moses’ experience shows that your appropriate mate is not necessarily a person from the same town or locale where you reside. Lastly, it shows that while most people will find their soulmates within their own race, others must look beyond their own people.

There is a disturbing and re-occurring problem I find with the dating habits of men and women. The problem is that some limit their chances of finding happiness by setting what I feel are silly requirements. Here is my concern. It is okay to set certain expectations for your love interest, but what would you do if you found the love interest that meets your requirement but you did not meet his or hers? Should the person accept you anyway? Ladies and gentlemen, the point here is, of course, that you should set some standards before you get into a relationship --- standards that will benefit the relationship and help it grow. However, there are silly standards or requirements that may prevent you from attracting a prospective lover into your life. Stay away from such requirements, as they will do more to harm you than help you.

Don’t put limits on your chances of finding your soulmate by setting standards that will prevent you from falling in love with a person who will feel the same way about you. There are no guarantees that all human beings will find their soulmates within their own race. This is why it is ideal that you approach the people you meet with an open mind, lest you miss your true love when the person crosses your path.

Develop a mindset that will aid in your success. Interracial relationships are becoming more and more common. While your soul mate is most likely from your own race, there is also the possibility that the person may come from a different background, race or religion. One of the problems I encounter with some of my clients is that what they want becomes so important to them that they fail to see the danger in their choice of a companion.

See, some people are always seeking faults in the people that they meet. As recent as December 2002, one of my clients called to inform me, with great excitement in his voice, that he had found his soulmate. The same client of mine went on to say he feels; the woman was the right person for him and that he was thinking about settling down with her. It was all great news for me. I said to myself, “Finally, Jim has found his Mrs. Right.” Knowing what I knew about Jim’s dating habits, I calculated the relationship was probably not going to work. I cared about his success and wanted Jim to find love so much that I did everything I could to encourage him to give the relationship his best shot.

I was hoping he would call to inform me the two of them had picked their wedding date. When the call finally came in late February 2003, Jim informed me that they had broken up. His reason was that the woman is a single mother, she was in school and did not have much money. He continued to say that he did not want to raise another man’s child. Yet, within two weeks, this same person was back online, where he met a woman whose background was part Polish, part South American. Again, after they met, he called to inform me that he is very particular about figure and race. He says the woman was absolutely beautiful, polite and kind, yet he let her go as well, all because a certain part of the woman’s body was not big enough. How many women do you think this man has injured because of his silly requirements?

MY ADVICE: Be aware of setting your own selfish and silly standards. Set real standards that will benefit both the person you wish to be with and yourself. Remember to put yourself in the other’s shoes. What if you met a person you were strongly attracted to, but the person was constantly and always finding faults in you, eventually rejecting you because you did not meet some unreasonable expectations they had for you? How would you feel? Please do the right thing in your love life and improve your dating habits by considering the feelings and emotions of your prospective mate. They will thank you and in the end, you will be thankful that you had the foresight to make good decisions.

1 comment:

21st Century Dad said...

I identify more with my Caucasian side than my Korean side. I am genetically 100% Korean, but I was born and raised in the United States. People in the Asian community call me whitewashed, a banana, or a Twinkie. My latest obsession is studying interracial relationships, biracial children, and my own Korean background.

This caused many problems when dating. I didn't find any suitable Asian partners, and very few of the women I met weren't opennminded enough to consider dating an Asian man. Of course, I was using the mainstream sites, and I didn't know that interracial dating sites existed.

Fortunately, my dating days ended two and a half years ago. I met someone openminded enough to overlook the racial divide, and now we have a beautiful baby girl.