Monday, September 10, 2007

Unforbidden Love

My family are very cultural people and what cultural people tend to do is stay in their own accustom little world and are afraid to step out of their little box. It's hard, to know that you can never change a person and their beliefs, especially if it's your own family. At my house back home, all we do is speak the our native language, eat our cultural food, respect our elders, and forced to do "woman-hating" chores (household chores ^-^) This recent senior year I had a very open mind and wanted to be the best I can be, I even cut my hair so boyish short so my parents could stop degrading on females, and let me just tell ya, they got mad~

After senior year I was suppose to be married to another person of my culture, but I cut my hair, which represented woman-hood in our culture. Hehehe this marraige was arranged since I was born. BUT arlene here thought, hmmm, i'm not going to follow my sister's foot-steps and i do wanna go to college to support MYSELF. And that's what I did last year (senior year).
I got kicked out of the house A LOT to the point where I had to come to school in sweats and same clothes everyday, and I had honor courses too! I was even disowned by my family for a while, and had no one. So I tried my hardest out there and my AVID teachers helped me through it all, and friends, and my recent boyfiend.

My boyfriend (who recently dumped me but are extremely close, and i still call him boyfriend) is white. Not the race my parents wanted me to date, well let me put it this way, especially not the race my parents wanted me to date. They have a reason though. My parents hate "white" people because America is mainly part of the reason why their country got into a civil war. They are the reason that made my parents life so traumatic. But I loved him, and that even infuriated them even more (including the fact I turned down the marraige).

It's hard to explain...wanting to love someone but can't...loving someone and having your family hate you...loving someone behind their backs....lying to them....lying to him....lettin him know that my family really doesn't hate him. it's hard. when we did go out, i always pretended to go to "the movies" but instead i went to hang out with him. he helped me through a lot though that my family couldn't understand. it's hard not being able to call him while here for college because i share a plan with my parents and OH do they know his phone number. It's hard to know that my parents didn't support me into going to college. But it's even harder when my parents disapprove of my boyfriend, who in reality, is the ONLY one who cand ever make me happy. having your parents disapprove of your happiness.

Him being "white" is not a curse in my eyes, it's a beauty...because of him, my family's going to see how much i love him, and, they're finally going to step outside of their little box. Just like I forced their beliefs on women and how we're not suppose to be in college...-break

what are stories of your interracial relationship? or what do you think about it?

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